Lookin' for my mates

I can't be doing with these stupid birds, they don't know what "I'll have an e please Bob" actually means, they just don't get daytime TV. This pond is full of creatures that haven't even heard of Carol Vorderman, man I'm going to order lots of little banjos for Christmas pressies here.

All the birds on this water seem to think they may be trapped, eaten by a fox thing, or, and this is the weirdest, killed while flying by little lumps of lead fired from a stick held by a bean. Bro I can't believe this, you want to kill us for pleasure, you want to kill me or my kin for fun, how low does your IQ go. listen, sell the fire sticks, buy a banjo and be friendly with your cousins.

Namaste XX

Just who is cowsie??